She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
