There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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