I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
