it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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