oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
