He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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