He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
