hotel room ftw
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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