ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
