I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
