That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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