grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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