Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two

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(914): View more from New York

Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.

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(818): View more from California

he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped

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(860): View more from Connecticut

How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'll just say I told you so at your funeral

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