Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
