Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
