If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel great
I just peed on a car
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You may now shotgun with the bride
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
The uberlube is also flammable
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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