we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize