I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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