They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
