how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
