you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize