I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
