Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
