Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My life is pants optional.
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