You work out of a Hotel?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize