The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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