I wannas sexs uuuuu
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize