If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
