Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
