Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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