She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
