my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
