Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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