the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
