Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
They took my balls.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
