i would punch a child for taco bell
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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