marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
