I have demons in me.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sarcasm needs its own font
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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