Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
