my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Come on in and take your pants off
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