You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
