I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
