Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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