Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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