he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
