sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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