i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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