if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
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