Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
