The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
