I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize