i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
