I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
