Your tits are I can't wait for
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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