guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize