At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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