apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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