That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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