I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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