No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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