Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
