Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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